The Laundromat

Since the wonderful apartment complex that I live in doesn't provide a washer and/or dryer so I am forced to visit The Laundromat once a week. Now, I am no stranger to not having a laundry machine. Freshman year, when I lived in the dorms on campus, I had to drag my laundry all the way down to the basement to use the washing machines. Of course, this laundry room was in a state-of-the-art dorm, had wireless, flat screen TV's and was next door to a Rec room with Billiards, Table Tennis and Foosball. The Laundromat in Eufaula is slightly different. The washing machines are from the early 1980's, the dryers have signs on them warning you against putting small children and/or animals in them, and the vending machines only serve "Diet Rite" soda and Pork Rinds. There is also an arcade located in the back of the building, but there is no sign advertising it, and people only enter/exit through the back door. I have no comment about the existence of this "arcade". 

I try to only visit the Laundromat early in the morning because:

A. It smells bad.

B. There is no air conditioning, therefore the hotter it gets, the more likely it is that I will spend the entire time breathing through my mouth and sweating.

C. The chance of having IEE rises exponentially with the time of the day.

My first IEE at the Laundromat: The Jehovah's Witness

I was sitting by the window at the front of the Laundromat reading a magazine and just minding my own business (which is something people around here don't do, which might explain why everyone seems to know that I'm "not from around here"). I've got my laptop bag, purse and 2 laundry baskets on the floor next to me when a woman walks in. She stops in front of me, smiles and kind of laughs to herself. Before I can do anything besides just stare at her she starts telling me that she thought my laundry basket was a baby basket (also implying that she thought there was a baby in it). She pointed to my cloth lined, wicker laundry basket at which point I joined in with her laugher out of sheer horror, not finding this situation the slightest bit funny. 

The First red flag in this situation is the fact that this woman thought I was of average child bearing age, despite the fact that I was carded the last time I went to see a rated "R" movie. Second red flag: Not only does she think I am at an appropriate age to have a child, but she somehow thinks that I physically look like I've given birth to an infant in recent months. 

Third red flag: This woman was under the impression that, had I actually had a child, was carrying said child around in a WICKER BASKET. 

She then proceeded to tell me her life story while I silently I tried to figure out why this woman was still talking to me instead of doing laundry. When she was done she handed me a pamphlet and walked out the door. I chalked it up to just another IEE, until I looked at the pamphlet and realized that she was a Jehovah's Witness and not just a friendly, yet misguided, local. I turned around just in time to see her drive away in her 1980's Camry with the Alabama license plate "J-Hova".

My afternoon IEE: Staring McCreepster

I partly blame myself for this IEE since I had decided to do my laundry in the afternoon, instead of in the morning due to the fact that I wasted my entire morning surfing the web at Blue Moon. I was extra sleepy that afternoon since I had just had lunch, it was hot outside, and it was almost the weekend. I figured that it would be alright to doze off for a bit while my laundry was in the washing machine. There was only one person in the Laundromat and he was sitting at the front. I figured if I positioned myself just right I could lean my chair against the back row of washers and no one would notice me sleeping. I managed to doze off for about 20 minutes while my clothes were in the washer, which just made me even more sleepy. I feel back asleep while my clothes were in the dryer and when I woke up I had a stiff neck and no circulation on my hands since I had a death grip my purse. The same guy was still sitting in the front and he stared at my while I pulled my clothes out of the dryer. This was not the usual "Oops you caught me staring at you so I'm going to look away immediately" kind of stare it was more like, "I am going to blatantly stare at you because you are a stranger and I have no concept of how uncomfortable it will make you" stare. After awkwardly making eye-contact half a dozen times he finally initiated a conversation. *Side Note* people around here tend to skip any form of a greeting and begin almost all conversations with a question.

Staring McCreepster: "You sleepy?"

Me: "No, I have a rare disease that causes me to fall asleep in seedy Laundromats" 

Staring McCreepster: "What?"

Me: "I said, yes I'm very tired today"

Staring McCreepster: "Where do you live?"

*Please note that he did not ask "Where are you from?"*

Me: "I live in Columbus, I just moved here from Austin."

Staring McCreepster: "How old are you?"

Me: "I'm 22."

Staring McCreepster: "You married?"

Me: "No. I live with my boyfriend."

Staring McCreepster: "You got any kids?"

KIDS? PLURAL?!?!

Not only do I have a problem with this guy asking me if I have kids for the reasons mentioned in the Jehovah's Witness section, but I also just told him that I'm NOT married. Staring McCreepster's skills obviously do not lie within the art of conversation making. 

I told him "No." and picked up the pace of my laundry folding in order to get out of there before the conversation really went downhill. 

Since my last IEE I started going to a new Laundromat aptly called "Superior Laundromat". There are video games located in the front of the building, the washing machines are all from this decade, and the vending machines serve Pepsi and Chex Mix. Does this mean I don't have any IEE's, of course not, but I do get to breath through my nose the entire time which is all a girl can really ask for. 

My most recent IEE: The Nosy Old Guy

I was sitting at the front of the new Laundromat with my laptop, just minding my own business. I noticed this old(er) man come into the Laundromat, but I'm fairly preoccupied with what I'm doing on my laptop so I don't really pay attention to what he is doing. He could have started River Dancing and I probably would have just kept staring at my computer screen. Now, I would guess that this man was about 65 years old based on his receding hairline and noticeable poor dental hygiene, but he could have easily been 20 years younger than that and just had a "rough" life. There is also a mother with 2 small girls, and another middle aged woman doing laundry at the same time. Yet for some reason as the man is leaving he decides to strike up a conversation with me. Again starting with a question and not a greeting...

Nosy Old Guy: "You doing homework on there?" *points towards my laptop*

As I start to tell this guy "no" he actually leans over my shoulder to see what I'm doing on my computer. Now in most all cultures, this would be considered rude, but once you reach a certain age (65+?) you seem to be able to do whatever you want and most people just blame it on the Dementia. It just so happens that I was working on a draft for my blog and the last this I want is for a local to stumble upon my blog so I quickly minimize the page, leaving Nosy Old Man staring at my background which is a picture of me and Nick from my sister's rehearsal dinner. In retrospect I wish I had of just kept the page open because at least then I wouldn't have had to spend the next 3 minutes feeling ridiculously uncomfortable while Nosy Old Guy stares at this picture of me and tells me how pretty I look. 

Next time, I'm bringing a book.